A soothsayer called Google

A very odd thing came up on my stats the other day. 

By stats I mean, the number of views I get per post, the number and name of countries (ahem ahem) I get them from, what links brings them here etc etc.

What caught my attention were the search words that bring people to The FT.

Two of which were:

"Tickle women".

Really? 

Do you actually need Google to teach you how to tickle women?

And that's not all. 

Type "how" in Google and you will be surprised at the list of options that it throws you. 

How to kiss?

How to get pregnant?

Type "how can" and you will see that one of the most searched option is "How can I make India proud?'

(By the way, the internet has already laid out a game plan for you to make your motherland proud one day.

No. Please don't go out and actually "do" something.)

I still remember how one of my friends told me that she, and her male best friend, together googled  "Can two best friends fall in love?"

And guess what? It showed About 118,000,000 results in 0.17 seconds.

A "How to get over a break up?" will throw you 35 million results in 0.14 seconds.

Wow. 

So many options.

So much to read.

So many opinions.

So much advice.

Yet so many unhappy people.

Still. 

People. People. People. 

Google is not an oracle. 

It is not a soothsayer. 

It is not a crystal ball.

It doesn't have the answers to life's questions. 

So stop asking ridiculous things.

People get hurt. 

People want to constantly talk about it. 

And this revolutionary, life changing technology called the internet lets them do that.

However, it's only once you move your arse that you will:

Make India proud.

Get famous.

Learn to kiss.

Get over someone.

Lose weight.

And finally. Most importantly.

Tickle women.