Dear Men,
I understand that you hate reading. Before picking up any book or checking out any article, you will see how long it is and then decide whether it can be read. It's as if your interest levels are always inversely proportionate to the length of the book, post or even your girlfriend's skirt.
But stick around till the end of this one. I know it is terribly long. However, you will see that patience pays.
This post is full of pieces of wisdom that women don't talk about.
These are
Ten things that women will never tell you. But will expect you to know.*
*These are not endorsed by anyone else but the Fickle Tickle. You can try this on your own. Although the tips are subject to risks which I'm not aware of. Not market risks. For God's sake, everything is not subject to market risks.
1) Do not woo the girl:
The biggest mistake any man makes is that he woos his woman. What you actually do is set yourself up for failure later. If you have ever been in a relationship there is a 90 percent chance you have heard a sentence starting this way, " Oh, when we first dating, you used to...". Go ahead. Complete that one on your own. You know,
a) wait hours for her call
b) wait days for her to get ready for a party
c) asked about her imaginary friend (without freaking out)
Who the hell told you to do all this? Right from the beginning of the interaction do not do anything that is uncharacteristic of you. Because once you seal the deal, you will have to maintain it. So it's better for you to not to become the Prince Charming that she expects. Atleast, later she won't nag you about how she wants the man she fell in love with. She doesn't realise that he died as soon as she decided to be with him.
2) Do not give her what she wants:
Men always want to know what the woman wants. Well, be happy you don't know that. She wants a lot. A whole lot. Do not give it to her. If a woman gets what she wants she will get bored. Yes. Bored.
Be unpredictable. Sometimes give her exactly what she wants but most of the times don't. Keep her on the edge. She doesn't know it that drama is a big part of her life. She would feel incomplete without it. So be the asshole and let her play victim at regular intervals. There is always a charm in making up, that she cannot resist.
3) Compliment her. Even if she's ungrateful.
This I have the men to blame. To get your way, you guys can give such baseless compliments, that women have grown cynical. They just can't believe a word you say anymore. A genuine compliment is hard to come by. So even if you are being genuine in your praise, she will look for the ulterior motive. More often than not, she finds it. And more often than not, there is one. However, you have to continue with the compliments. Even if she never thanks you. Even if she thinks you're lying. Continue with the compliments. She's just fishing for more. So repeat this in your head again. Continue with the compliments. Continue with the compliments.
4) Never give her time to think
Women think. About everything. From the molehill to the mountain, they think of it all. Keep this in mind, if your woman has communicated with you via text, mail or even a call, do reply to it within three hours. If you don't reply to her and she has't asked why via text, mail and another phone call, then I'm sorry to inform you that you are in deep trouble. She has thought about everything. About how you don't give her time. How she should have seen this coming. How she feels taken for granted. How she feels that this relationship is on the verge of getting over. You now know where the phrase, "the calm before the storm" comes from.
What should you do to prevent such natural disasters? Always interject these thoughts with random texts, mails or calls. It helps. She's thinking about that piece of communication now. She's distracted. You've given her something to think about. She's at peace now. Atleast for some time. Do keep a bank of things to say that confuse her. Your life will be sorted.
5) Do something publicly
Most of you already know this one, but I think it's important to reiterate this. Atleast once in the relationship express your love publicly. Send flowers to her office, serenade her at the Karaoke night or just do something so romantically cheesy that she looks so embarrassed that you fear she might call it off. But guess what? She loves it. Deep down she adores this. It won't cost you much in terms of money. However, it could cost you your manly reputation. But trust me this goes a long way. Ok, I'll say it in a language you will understand - It's a small investment to secure your future.
I know you are tired reading or comprehending the kind of intellectual information I have just imparted.
Take a break. Read it over and over again till you can pass this on as if it's your own advice.
The next five tips will be posted next week.
Good luck till then.
Yours truly,
The Fickle Tickle
I understand that you hate reading. Before picking up any book or checking out any article, you will see how long it is and then decide whether it can be read. It's as if your interest levels are always inversely proportionate to the length of the book, post or even your girlfriend's skirt.
But stick around till the end of this one. I know it is terribly long. However, you will see that patience pays.
This post is full of pieces of wisdom that women don't talk about.
These are
Ten things that women will never tell you. But will expect you to know.*
*These are not endorsed by anyone else but the Fickle Tickle. You can try this on your own. Although the tips are subject to risks which I'm not aware of. Not market risks. For God's sake, everything is not subject to market risks.
1) Do not woo the girl:
The biggest mistake any man makes is that he woos his woman. What you actually do is set yourself up for failure later. If you have ever been in a relationship there is a 90 percent chance you have heard a sentence starting this way, " Oh, when we first dating, you used to...". Go ahead. Complete that one on your own. You know,
a) wait hours for her call
b) wait days for her to get ready for a party
c) asked about her imaginary friend (without freaking out)
Who the hell told you to do all this? Right from the beginning of the interaction do not do anything that is uncharacteristic of you. Because once you seal the deal, you will have to maintain it. So it's better for you to not to become the Prince Charming that she expects. Atleast, later she won't nag you about how she wants the man she fell in love with. She doesn't realise that he died as soon as she decided to be with him.
2) Do not give her what she wants:
Men always want to know what the woman wants. Well, be happy you don't know that. She wants a lot. A whole lot. Do not give it to her. If a woman gets what she wants she will get bored. Yes. Bored.
Be unpredictable. Sometimes give her exactly what she wants but most of the times don't. Keep her on the edge. She doesn't know it that drama is a big part of her life. She would feel incomplete without it. So be the asshole and let her play victim at regular intervals. There is always a charm in making up, that she cannot resist.
3) Compliment her. Even if she's ungrateful.
This I have the men to blame. To get your way, you guys can give such baseless compliments, that women have grown cynical. They just can't believe a word you say anymore. A genuine compliment is hard to come by. So even if you are being genuine in your praise, she will look for the ulterior motive. More often than not, she finds it. And more often than not, there is one. However, you have to continue with the compliments. Even if she never thanks you. Even if she thinks you're lying. Continue with the compliments. She's just fishing for more. So repeat this in your head again. Continue with the compliments. Continue with the compliments.
4) Never give her time to think
Women think. About everything. From the molehill to the mountain, they think of it all. Keep this in mind, if your woman has communicated with you via text, mail or even a call, do reply to it within three hours. If you don't reply to her and she has't asked why via text, mail and another phone call, then I'm sorry to inform you that you are in deep trouble. She has thought about everything. About how you don't give her time. How she should have seen this coming. How she feels taken for granted. How she feels that this relationship is on the verge of getting over. You now know where the phrase, "the calm before the storm" comes from.
What should you do to prevent such natural disasters? Always interject these thoughts with random texts, mails or calls. It helps. She's thinking about that piece of communication now. She's distracted. You've given her something to think about. She's at peace now. Atleast for some time. Do keep a bank of things to say that confuse her. Your life will be sorted.
5) Do something publicly
Most of you already know this one, but I think it's important to reiterate this. Atleast once in the relationship express your love publicly. Send flowers to her office, serenade her at the Karaoke night or just do something so romantically cheesy that she looks so embarrassed that you fear she might call it off. But guess what? She loves it. Deep down she adores this. It won't cost you much in terms of money. However, it could cost you your manly reputation. But trust me this goes a long way. Ok, I'll say it in a language you will understand - It's a small investment to secure your future.
I know you are tired reading or comprehending the kind of intellectual information I have just imparted.
Take a break. Read it over and over again till you can pass this on as if it's your own advice.
The next five tips will be posted next week.
Good luck till then.
Yours truly,
The Fickle Tickle
hmmmmmm Dezzie
ReplyDeletehahah the 4th one literally cracked me up!
ReplyDeleteIt happens all the time! If the guy doesn't reply for a while, I start feeling this isn't gonna work out, and in my mind I've already broken up with him several times before we finally talk again and I realize everything is still okay! I hope all the guys read this..would save us many nerve-wracking moments..